How To Talk to Your Teenage Son

With school beginning, teenagers will be getting more involved with their friends and school activities.  Parents need to keep up on what is happening with them.  This article gives some suggestions on how to talk with your teenage son.  I would also say girls, but I have had more experience with boys.

The most important thing a parent can do is be a good listener.  You can learn about what is going on in your teenage sons life by just listening and paying attention to what is going on.

Tip 1.  Stay up at night and wait for them to come home.  I discovered that many boys will tell you of their adventures on their arrival back home.  If anything happened that is exciting, they will want to relate it to you.

Tip 2.  Expect dramatics.  If they are very excited they will be more dramatic.  They might talk louder and faster.  They might even exaggerate a point to get the story across.  This is normal.

Tip 3.  Don't question them.  If you do, make it related to their story.  If you jump to another topic like homework, you might never hear the true story of their evening.

Tip 4.  Try to get them to sit down.  This shows that you have an interest in their adventures.  It also provides a chance to hear more instead of a quick statement or story and off to bed they go.

Tip 5.  Don't wait till the next morning to talk to them.  By then, it is a new day and last night is ancient history.

Tip 6.  Don't challenge them until they are done talking.  Keep them on topic as long as possible.  You can always challenge them about tardiness, neglecting of chores or staying out past curfew.

Tip 7.  Never send them to bed angry.  You can express concern but, try not to scorn them too much.  If you do, this will only prevent possible future conversations.

Tip 8.  If you discipline, keep the discipline fair and on topic.  Don't over react to minor occurrences.  Be firm but not angry.  Showing disappointment is better than anger.

Tip 9.  Never belittle them in front of their friends.  Wait till everyone has left and then begin your discussion.  Both of you will appreciate this.  It also makes it easier for you to be constructive in your discussion.

Tip 10.  Make sure that your son knows the rules and the consequences in advance.  You might have to review these from time to time.  Rules change with age.  This is why you need to review them.  Your son needs to have a clear understanding of the rules.

Finally, when in trouble have them phone with no consequences.  For example, if they attend a drinking party and need a ride home, have them call you.  If they know they are going to get screamed at, they won't call.  You want them to make smart decisions.  They have to know that a parent is there to bail them out of problem situations.

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