|Written by jswana|
¬†I have heard throughout my life, women who have real problems with men and find a myriad of faults in them.¬† Some cultures, such as my own, dictates that we are the least marriageable women around.¬† Statistics are pretty ugly and don't dictate anything to me.¬† They are just another way of accentuating broad divides amongst groups of people.¬†
Whatever has happened in society that has made the latter statements even seem to be true, was not true as I came of age. Just about every girl had no real problem (some more than others) getting a guy.¬† And the guys had morals and character and most of all JOBS and AMBITIONS even if it was to join the Armed Forces and go from there!¬† Therefore some of us refuse to give in to saying that there are a bazillion girls to one man, like some of us simply love to say.¬† Forget numbers and think of getting someone to care about you in general and that includes being loved and respected.........
LET CLICHES GO:
Has anyone gotten tired of that tired cliche that a woman's biological 'clock' is ticking?¬† The news is that from the moment we are born, the clock is ticking.¬† To further your stress of not having a husband and children, you have to hear such prattle.¬† Our fate with love and possible marriage is not contingent on what people say about clocks and tickings. ¬† Keeping yourself prepared for the right man has no expiration date.¬† As the much older women often said: "Dress like you are going out to meet your husband......"¬†¬† Look cute, attractive and smell good.¬†¬†¬† Act confident and not dependant.
DON'T LET DESPERATION CLOUD JUDGEMENT:
Some ladies tend to be more love starved than others.¬† This is a little dangerous in that you can choose someone without much reasoning and most of all, not knowing them.¬† Meeting a charming guy is a good thing but listening and getting to know him just may result in you finding that he has no charm at all...........
DON'T BE RUSHED BY HIM:
Some ladies don't realize when a guy is putting a rush on them.¬† It's like a magician, this slight of hand is him trying to slight your mind and divert you from what he really wants and that's eminent gratification.¬† If he's initally touchy-feely or centers his conversation around suggestive language and sex, he wants one thing.¬† Not much future in that........
PLEASE, DON'T BE EASY:
There is not much hope in a relationship that develops into intimacy overnight, generally.¬† In some unique situations it works (especially in movies) but it's all about morals in this one.¬† How would you feel behind this and better yet, how would you think he would feel about you?¬† Get to know each other, flirt, enjoy being together.¬† It can be a very nice replacement for that kind of intimacy.
HOW YOU CARRY YOURSELF:
Out and drinking and getting overloaded is a good way to turn a guy off.¬† None of this is exactly 'end-all' to a relationship but drinking and acting out is not what men are looking for in a girl.
TREATING HIM AS A PERSON:
When we just listen to people, any person, it seems to help them.¬† Everyone likes a listener.¬† If you meet that special man and indulge in conversation, take the man and woman element out of it and just add humanness to it.¬† Dialogue is one of the best ways to get to know anyone.¬† Just think of the easy-to-talk-to person.
How I miss some of the men in my life and talking to them.¬†¬† It seems that from father's down to brothers and friends, dialogue from a man is always more positive and practical! You come to them with a crucial problem (in your mind anway) and he's likely to offer you a practical solution that another female is just not equipped for.¬† I always looked to girlfriends for silly talk and not to get too much opinion on serious matters.¬† But talking to a man, seems to balance things out if he's the average man.
DON'T THINK¬† YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THEM:
Some women are hung up on thinking that they are too strong, too successful for a man to want them.¬† What a man does not want is a shrew and with an ego problem to boot.¬† When we excel in life in education and career, it puts us in a different tax bracket but it doesn't put you in a different mental class.¬†
Years ago, in Oprah Winfrey's heyday, she had a group of 'White Collar' females who were suddenly discovering the "Blue Collar" man and marrying them. Hooray for them! The issue with this was that it was a trend and didn't quite seem sincere, it just seemed like a reason for a show.¬† Bottom line, there are a lot of good men out here with Blue Collar jobs who may also have a College Education and his money will buy that house just as yours will.¬† Of course, women are not looking for men on a Skid-row but a woman should look at the character first.¬† And generally men are not afraid of women because they are successful.¬† They are afraid when these women flaunt it in their face and try to change them.
BEING SOFT AND FEMININE:
Some ladies forget that you can be feminine and soft and not be weak!¬† The real idea behind a man and a woman is their opposites, their differences that complete each other.¬† At the same time, have a zero tolerance on any abuse.¬† If it occurs even once, it's not good to stay around.¬† The fact that a man has an advantage over a woman would make him wrong to become violent with her.¬† At the same time, ladies it is not nice for us to become violent either!
LASTLY, BE OPEN:
Most of us have obvious preferences in what culture of men we want.¬† At the same time, we never know what type of man will enter our lives and be the right one and that includes the fact that he may not be in your ethnic group.¬† True love really has no barriers in that area and it's up to the two people to work through society's issues.¬† They will be there and it will be up to you to work through them.¬† It happens and it can happen to you too!
*Hope you enjoy this simply 'common sense' approach to finding someone special.¬† It has nothing to do with dating services and I am not an 'Expert'.¬† But I have seen things that work and things that don't work for women when on a quest to find that special gentleman.¬† Hope it is helpful.¬† A cheery little¬† site, I stumbled on just to give a good link is found below:
You can participate in my blog on some of this subject: http://wwwletsgetmarried.blogspot.com