|Written by Deborah Rose|
One of the reasons people are uncomfortable about attending a funeral or wake is because they are unsure of what to say and how to relate to the grieving family and relatives.
This article should help you feel more asssured by teaching you the proper etiquette as well as knowing that you¬† have comforted and offered condolences in the best way possible.
You should know what to say, and what NOT to say to the grieving family, relatives or friends. Many of us are guilty of saying the wrong things and regretting it later. I will also offer some helpful advice for those who really don't know what would be most appreciated by the grieving family.
A wake is usually held for the family and close relatives of the deceased as a final gathering to mingle with friends and relatives and discuss meaningful experiences they have had with the deceased in his/her lifetime. So whatever relates to¬† you and the deceased as to how they enriched your life, or taught you a valuable lesson, for example, will most surely be heartfelt and remembered by the grief stricken family.
Before you attend that wake or funeral, be prepared to express your sincere feelings and add comfort to the bereaved.¬† You will feel more assured and less uncomfortable if you know ahead of time what you plan on saying.
Step 1: Read the phrases below on what to say, and what not to say.¬† You should be able to come up with one or two that you would feel comfortable expressing. If you are bringing your children to the wake, you should also teach them what to say and how to behave at this delicate time. It is also a good learning experience for the future.
WHAT TO NEVER SAY:
WHAT TO SAY:
Step 2:¬† It would also be a nice gesture to send flowers,¬† a sympathy card,¬† or a donation to an organization they were involved in.
Step 3:¬† If you were close to the family, or if you can't make it to the wake or funeral, you should call or write them¬† and offer your services if needed. Too many people say, "If you need anything, just call" and they don't really mean it.
Step 4:¬† Another welcoming gesture would to bring over a few prepared meals to the family of the deceased a day or two after the funeral. No one feels like cooking at a time like this.
Step 5:¬† Be yourself. Show your sympathy. Don't make jokes or drink alcoholic beverages to get a bzz on at the wake or at the home of¬† the grief stricken family.¬† It is a time to share good thoughts,¬† offer condolences,¬† and¬† relate warm memories of the deceased as well as showing respect to his or her family.
I hope this article gave you some insight on proper etiquette and proper behavior relating to wakes/funerals.