|Written by Deborah Sexton|
I suppose it does seem odd for a woman to tell other women how to win a man. I've learned through several avenues of observation what runs a man off and what makes a man keep running back for more. It's really no great mystery and I won't be telling you to do the impossible.
1. The Purpose Of The First Date:
The first date is about getting to know each other, PERIOD. So first let's talk about the things you should and shouldn't do. You know he's interested, that's why he asked you out. So far so good.
Unless a man tells you before a date that he would like to take you to dinner, a movie and dancing, a lot of times he will pick you up and then ask what you would like to do.
Rule #1. Don't start making the plans or suggestions. Tell him you don't really have any ideas and ask him what he had planned. Let him be in charge even if it appears he doesn't want to be.
2. The Differences In Men And Women:
Men and women think so differently and what can be a gesture of kindness on one's part can appear threatening on the other's.
Men and women both have certain innate thoughts about roles they play even if they don't realize or admit to it. Though they may try men don't really see women as equal to them. That's not a bad thing. (we're not talking about equal jobs or equal pay.) A man really wants you to be a woman. They want to take care of you and feel rejected when you don't let them.
If you want to play a larger role wait until six months down the road because this is about the first few dates. Rule #2. Never pay for dinner, the movie or the cover charge to get inside a club. Nope not even the drinks. If you start offering to pay, a man gets the weird idea that you don't like him and don't want to be obligated to him in any way. Because of this he won't ask for a second date for fear he may be rejected. (if he wants you to pay for anything then he might be the type that prays on women) The first couple of dates is a good time to find out. If he really really likes you he will want to make a good impression.
3. The Need To Withhold Sex:
I shouldn't have to include Rule #3 but I will anyway in case someone doesn't know. For goodness sakes, no matter how much he might beg you, don't have sex!!
A lot of females think the reason is because he'll think she's a bad girl. That is true too, but it's not the main reason. Men are born hunters. They like to conquer. When a man goes hunting and his prey gets away he'll follow it to the ends of the earth until he either loses it completely or he captures it. If you allow a man to conquer you too soon he'll be off to conquer someone else. It's a power thing. A man has to prove his power to himself. I'm not saying you HAVE to wait until you're married, but for it to last you will HAVE to wait until there is a commitment.
If your dates are so boring and empty that you have to fill the time by having sex you're probably not that compatible anyway. He may come around once in a while when he wants sex, but you can bet he will disappear when he finds someone who won't give in so easily.
4. Keeping The Past IN The Past:
Rule #4 Never talk about past relationships on the first few dates, not even if he insists. Just tell him you'd rather talk about him. Don't bring up his past either. If he talks about his, listen then gently bring the conversation back to him in the present.
You can say something like " You're eyes are blue. I love blue eyes."
5. What you should do on a first date:
Smile at him and look him in the eye. Listen to him and show interest. Be female, soft and sweet. I'll save this for my next article.