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Compassion Fatigue is a term given to the burn out experienced by care givers. Caring for your elderly parent or parents, caring for patients as a health care provider, caring for a sick spouse or partner. You life becomes consumed with the needs of another and eventually, there is no time to think about your own wants and needs. It's also used in reference to community based or global events - like after September 11 or with regard to the poverty stricken children of our planet. You become "burned out" or desensitized to the plight of others.
While I don't agree that the term compassion fatigue accurately describes the experience, it is important, when caring for others, to take the time to replenish your supply of energy. If you care for others at your own expense, you will become resentful and angry. You cannot extend the compassion they require if you are neglecting yourself.
Here are some suggestions to help avoid losing yourself to the caring of others.
Step 1. Learn to say, "No." It's difficult to tell someone who has lost the ability to care for themselves that you will not cater to their every need or want. Losing independence creates a whole host of emotional responses that can often be targeted toward care givers. You want to alleviate their pain but sometimes, what they want and what you can give do not coalesce and it's important to learn to say no.

Step 2. Take time for yourself. You must do for yourself consistently or you will end up supressing your own needs, building up resentment toward your charge. Spend whatever time you can during the course of your day not only tending to the tasks that need completing, but the need we all have to release by doing enjoyable things.

Step 3. Create clear boundaries as to what you can do and what you cannot do and stick to your boundaries. That's perhaps the most difficult of all your challenges. When a little child throws a tantrum and the parent gives in just to quiet the child down, they set the example that the parent will eventually give in if they protest enough. Do not compromise your boundaries.
Step 4. Get help from others so that you can take the time you need to care for yourself too. A neighbor, a family member, a health professional, a member of the church you attend - find people who can contribute, if even just for a little while, to the care of the person who needs it. This will not only give you a break, but will also give the person you are caring for some distraction, some entertainment, some other people to interact with. They may resist but it's necessary to bring other people in to help out.
Step 5. Recognize the signs and symptoms of Compassion Fatigue. There are resources that will help you understand the dynamics of this phenomenon.
TIP: Compassion is gentle and kind. If anger is preventing your compassion from shining, you are experiencing the burn out of compassion fatigue.
TIP: Compassion is ever-renewing energy. The more compassion you extend, the more fueled with energy you are. It does not get depleted. Compassion is its own generator and carrys you forward in this journey.
Photos found on www.funny-city.com
Resources:
Compassion Fatigue Awareness Project
Contagion of Compassion
Contagion of Compassion Blog
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