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Written by The Mobility Advocate
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Friendship is a valuable part of life. We are social creatures who crave companionship, nurturing, caring, even affection. This medium called the internet replicates social interaction with use of terms like "community" and "friends" but the virtual life can only go so far. Although we can have many of our needs met with a click of a button, a lasting, interactive friendship is not one of them.
To build a friendship, there needs to be circumstances and interactions that educate us on one another. How we react in certain situations determines the level of reliance you can place in me as a friend. My ideas, my perspective, my experiences, my philosophies all conspire to create what is uniquely me. And getting to know the person I am requires more than a computer and internet access.
So, here are some of my thoughts on how to be a good friend.
Step 1. Listen. It's a simple way to get to know another person - listen to what they have to say. By listening, you can determine whether or not you enjoy that person's company, concur with their views, or can learn from them. Listening is not a selfless act. It does give the other person a good feeling when they are being heard which is important, but it also gives you a sense of who that other person is and whether or not the friendship will work for you.
Step 2. Share. Trust takes time to develop and each individual has their own tests to determine trustworthiness. Share as little or as much as you feel comfortable with but share yourself. Taking steps toward an authentic, great friendship means giving information, emotional attachment, and inner thoughts at a pace that is comfortable. Start out small and work your way up as the other person earns more trust. There is never a guarantee that your friend will not betray you but giving too much too soon can prevent serious hurt feelings and hardening of the self.
Step 3. Don't always feel like you have to have the answer to your friend's problems. This goes hand in hand with step 1. Sometimes, people need to vent. Sometimes, people just need an ear to chew on or a shoulder to cry on. You don't always need to counsel or determine what's best for them. Hearing oneself out loud can be the best way to grow and learn. That's part of what makes therapy so successful. You get to hear yourself out loud describe your problems and in doing so, you can determine the next appropriate course of action.
Tip: It's cliche to say but friendship is a two way street. A give and take. Being a good friend is an important way to have good friends.
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Relationships & People 
