|Written by Shon Hyneman|
After the honeymoon is over and you think you know your spouse because your married now, one day she decides to tell you "we need to talk." She tells you that having sex is painful for her because she has been sexually abused in her past. Well men, how do you handle that? Read on:
Let her know whenever she feels comfortable to talk about the abuse, you are there to have her undivided attention. Turn off the television and send the kids to their room to play games. Just listen and don't try to fix it for her because it already happened. Set the atmosphere for her to talk to you. If she want to go to the park or sit in her favorite couch at home, just do it. This is a touchy subject to the both of you so men if you know the person who sexually abused her (father, brother, uncle) don't start letting your emotions get the best of you. Beating up that person will not solve anything.
Seek professional counseling. If you have grief recovery at your church, attend that. Get around others who has been in the same predicament as you. Don't let anyone put a date on you to know that you have fully recovered. Ask your husband to be patient with you during this time. If he has your best interest he will understand.
She will be super sensitive about her children around other men. She will have trust issues. She might not want to have sex for awhile. She cannot be fully present sexually when her past is still in her heart.