|Written by Lori Wesmiller|
When a relationship no longer gives you want you need, hopefully, you'll talk your feelings out with your partner and deal with the situation. But, what do you do when you've had thoughts of being unfaithful to your partner? Infidelity is one of the biggest reasons (besides money) that couples split apart. Having thoughts of infidelity is a big sign that something is wrong in your relationship. Before you turn to cheating, learn to deal with the thoughts of infidelity and find out what you can do before you make a mistake that could cost you your relationship.
1. Figure out how often your having the thoughts of infidelity. It's perfectly normal to daydream about movie stars, find someone attractive on the street, or be attracted to someone you know. But, if your thinking about being intimate with another person many times a day, there is probably something your missing in your current relationship. Do you think about a particular person when your having thoughts of cheating? If so, you may need to reevaluate your relationship with your partner and figure out what you're not getting from the relationship.
2. If you have someone in mind that your considering cheating with, think about how the act of cheating would hurt other people. Does your partner know that person? Are there others involved such as children or another partner that could get hurt? Figure out what brought you to think of cheating with this person in the first place. Have you been spending too much time away from your partner and too much time with this new person you're daydreaming of? Try to pinpoint a reason why you're coming so close to being unfaithful to your partner with this person in your thoughts.
3. Consider what cheating with another person could do to your partner or others who love you. If you're married and have children, think about your family and how being unfaithful could tear them apart. Infidelity may seem like a fun idea for a brief moment, but there are others involved besides just you and the one you want to cheat with. Decide if cheating is worth the risk of losing everything you hold dear. Is being intimate with this man (or woman) more important than your family? Try to be honest with yourself without lusty thoughts and really think about what your risking by being unfaithful to your partner.
4. Try to talk to your partner about your feelings. You don't necessarily have to tell him or her that your having thoughts of infidelity (as long as you haven't cheated), but you should explain that your doubting your relationship. Be honest about what you aren't getting from the relationship and try to talk over your feelings. If you wish to tell your partner that your having thoughts of other people, then do so, but be forewarned that his response may not be what you expected. A partner who knows your thinking of cheating is not going to be happy and may not even understand. However, you should try to explain your doubts to your partner so that the two of you can decide whether you want to make things work, or go separate ways. Ending a relationship first is always better than being unfaithful.
5. Confide in a close friend who can help you deal with thoughts of infidelity. Sometimes talking things out with someone who can be objective will help you through the thoughts your having. Tell your friend that your considering being unfaithful and that you need to discuss your feelings. You may find that you have issues with your partner that need tended to and a fresh outlook on things could steer you in the right direction. Try to be as honest as possible with your friend in order to better help you deal with the situation. After all, it's better to talk about what might happen if you cheat, than to cheat and feel guilty for it later.